New Things

New things have happened. I’m receiving disability now. For my anxiety problems. Soon, I’m probably going to be moving into low income housing, probably downtown, but not sure, yet. Some of my old friends have been in touch with me again. And I’m working on getting into the Art Institute, and hopefully soon. I’m being helped to get a job that I can handle. And it feels okay. I’m happy with how my life is going now.

I found someone

I don’t really feel like I need men as much anymore, but I met someone. He’s kind and great, but I’ll always have {insert name here] in my heart. I’m still praying that he will be okay, but I’m moving on.

This new guy, Justin, we will call him, is sweet and kind and understands that everyone makes mistakes. He seems to understand that the past is the past and we should move on and be the bigger person. I now know that I need to move on and try my hardest to be the bigger person. We hung out today and when I say hung out, that’s all we did. It was fun, but for some reason, it just felt different. Not in a bad way, but maybe not in a good way either. I’m not sure, yet. Hopefully it’ll turn out okay.

I’m feeling better

I realized that I should move on. Everyone said that he was going to hurt me. I just didn’t understand it at the time. I know I couldn’t change him, even if I wanted to-he has to decide on his own, whether or not he should do drugs. I usually don’t try to change anyone. I never want the guys I date to change, and that’s why I date them. But see, when we met, he was different. He said that meeting me was his breaking point and that he was going to change, because he realized how bad he was. So, I guess I always assumed he was going to change on his own, but he never did.

I didn’t want to enable him-I wanted to let him choose on his own, but that never happened.